Sunday, August 14, 2016

Rhythm.

I am not naturally gifted with rhythm, clubbing was never my scene and I have never sported a tutu, but I love dancing. The crew and I often have dance parties at home, cranking up the music and dancing until we all are laughing. My favorite dance floor is at a wedding, with my kids. I think when I am with my clan, the only thing I care about is making them smile, all social pressure melts away and I just dance. When there is a mix of oldies and modern songs, the intergenerational diversity is incredible, suddenly the floor is flooded with people, all seasons of life.

Those sweet life moments the sun is shining, the right song is playing, you’ve got your favorite dress on and you just twirl. Losing yourself in the pure joy of the moment, a brief moment nothing else matters but dancing. Then there are the moments when the music just isn’t right and despite my desire to dance, my feet won’t move. I am standing there, waiting for this song to finish, longing for my soul song, the one I really want to dance to.

I have found myself in the current season, the song just isn’t right, I can’t seem to get my steps to match the beat, I have missed some steps, every move is in the wrong direction and I am left standing there. My entire life I have avoided these very moments. I am realizing I have been looking at those moments all wrong, for those moments give me a chance to catch my breath. The chance to just sit and watch the dancers around me, soaking up inspiration.

When the song doesn’t fit and my rhythm gone, I find myself frustrated that I can’t seem to find it. Deep down, I hate these moments, they are uncomfortable, I just want to be able to move and find my rhythm again. The struggle within, fighting my insecurities and need to be in control and the need to move.

Standing still isn’t missing out but the chance to stop spinning and look up, and watch the world around me? The music doesn’t stop, but once I’m ready, I can join in. It may even be a bit awkward at first but the music of life is playing and all I have to do is move.

The balance of life, moments of soul satisfying dance mixed with moments where I just stand there, watching the world around me. Waiting for my rhythm to return, so I can join in and until I am ready, my view is incredible. Sometimes we bump into each other. Sometimes our favorite song comes on and sometimes not. Sometimes we dance together. Sometimes we stand against the wall, watching it all unfold. I am soaking in this season of life where I find myself unsure as what dance to do, but I know that another song will come and maybe once I hear it, I will dance.

2 comments:

  1. My violin teacher taught me that rests in the music are as important as the notes. Without the flow and ebb and pause and start you just have chaos. The magic happens with the progression of the notes and the rests, following the music that is written or the music of the soul.

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