Monday, February 20, 2017

Outgrown.

Two weeks ago, we purchased a home and we packed up the space where we became a family these past three years. We are settling in and each day that comes to a close leaves us feeling like we are home. I awake each morning feeling so blessed paired with a little bit of disbelief that this beautiful home is ours.

Creating space is one of the things that delights my soul, stacks of boxes and beige walls currently consume thoughts. My thoughts feel a bit overwhelming and chaotic these days. Each box put away, wall painted and picture hung soothes my soul, 1:30am has become my quiet, creative companion.

Our new home was built in 1900 so it has all of the charm of structures built in those years. It has more space and rooms than we know what to do with it, the wall space alone is mind blowing. We have managed to fill this home that easily doubled our square footage. Our furniture is familiar and filled with so many memories yet this space still feels unknown.

This past week I covered my living room floor with all of my pictures and wall hangings on the floor, one by one picking up the things, trying to group them deciding what would go where. Those items don’t quite seem to fit this new space, what this space requires is different. The space I am creating here will feel different, it is the same stuff but the way it is displayed changes everything. I have tried to recreate spaces of my old home in my current space and it just doesn’t fit. The actual structure of our new space is different, each room tells a different story.

Packing up the place I called home for 4 years showed me just how much I had changed. I began this journey into foster care in that space. I brought home my crew to that home, Little One took her first steps in that home and Little Guy came home from the hospital to that space. That space evolved quickly as my interior design style changed from modern chic to Montessori preschool.

I am thankful for the walls that held us as we became a family, grieved our losses and celebrated so many things. It was the space I became a woman, where I found my voice and confidence. It was the space that I dreamed big, conquered fears and fell in love. The walls there have heard so many hearts. The last four years there have been the most pivotal years of my life, I changed so much there.

Over the years we had outgrown our space, no longer do we fit into the walls we once did. Therefore we must keep moving forward, we can not step back into the life we once had, we can not stop nor can we stay in the season we once dwelt. We have to keep growing and looking forward for the opportunity, we have to experience new things, create new memories and create new space.

We can not step back into what we were or where we were but we can take those lessons along with us as we move forward. Those experiences prepare us for the things to come. As we develop our new space, I am thankful for the things to come, what I will learn, what will change me, the new memories we will make. We will create a space where more hearts can be shared, more children can be safe and where we can just celebrate.

3 comments:

  1. Love this! Also, I think you need a chalkboard wall for the kids to write on!

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    1. Haha, Lisa we already do!!!!!!!!! We had a chalkboard nook in our old place and the chalkboard wall was the first thing I painted!

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  2. Hahayou alread painted it!! I was gonna offer you my chalkboard paint but you are ON IT! Lmk if you need more :) also this post made me cry. Homes and spaces and families give me all the feels.

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