Thursday, May 18, 2017

Something's Gotta Give

I am often approached with, “how do you do it?” To be honest I never quite know what to say. These past three years I have yet to find my answer so I default to my normal response of laughter paired with a shrug it off joke. One day, one diaper, one night, really one step at a time. At some point it becomes my new normal and I kind of self regulate. Like stretching our bodies to run farther and lift more, you just do it one step and pound at a time. One day you wake up and realize you can do more. I don’t know how I do it exactly, I just do it.

Logistically, I run a tight ship, we are mostly organized, all hands on deck, responsibilities for everyone, a one warning at best, kind of a family. I have consistently followed through on the small things so big things usually resolve with a warning. I overpack and over prepare. My three older for sure are incredible assets, they help put on little shoes and hold hands. I fight to protect them reminding them to be kids not caretakers, a hard habit to break in neglected children. Having three in diapers dependent on me to get them dressed has kicked my prepping skills into overdrive, which will come in handy if that whole zombie apocalypse happens.

Realistically, each addition into our family causes a ripple effect, something’s gotta give. Each child comes a price tag so to speak, since my first three came as a packaged deal, I really bulked up my muscles fast. It was painful at first, I was sore, so sore. Overnight, I had to saw the cost of this calling, my social calendar, my time and resources, sleeping in and sitting on a couch doing nothing. My life evolved overnight, rapidly changing it was hard. Reality sunk in as I began being locked in my house each evening after 7pm. I had to say no to going out with friends, I learned what tired really was, these days I hardly recognize myself. 

After the initial three came in it was really easy to accommodate a fourth, fifth and sixth, I was in my rhythm and adding to it really just made it richer. As a coffee roaster my job was to roast each coffee to the best flavor profile. One of the things about roasting is each roast follows a pattern. As you roast coffee the combination of time and temperature releases certain notes and “flavors” you manage your roast by determining how long to keep in the heat, knowing the heat is what uncovers what you want.

That is how I view this journey, it’s like each kiddo that comes along, knocks loose another flavor. With the first three came lots of change, refining and purging. I was changing rapidly and it was hard and painful at times. The next several kiddos brought waves of patience, compassion and grace, much sweeter.

In the midst of sheer chaos, exhausting days and double grocery carts (one for kids, one for groceries) I am finding such peace. So in this season whatever I am giving up is resulting in a rich and plentiful harvest.

11 comments:

  1. This is among my favorites! Love the coffee roasting analogy!!

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  2. Wow 6?! I'm terrified getting certified for one. Thanks for sharing your journey! I hope I can be helpful also

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    1. Oh Chenelle, you will be SO HELPFUL, loving one soul is just what we need to do!

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  3. Love this and reading your journey. I've always thought that once you have three kids in life, you can handle anything.

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    1. Thank you Lisa! Haha, I agree after you are outnumbered its chaos any ways!

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  4. i really likes your blog and You have shared the whole concept really well. and Very beautifully soulful read! thanks for sharing.
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