Logistically, I run a tight ship, we are mostly organized, all hands on deck, responsibilities for everyone, a one warning at best, kind of a family. I have consistently followed through on the small things so big things usually resolve with a warning. I overpack and over prepare. My three older for sure are incredible assets, they help put on little shoes and hold hands. I fight to protect them reminding them to be kids not caretakers, a hard habit to break in neglected children. Having three in diapers dependent on me to get them dressed has kicked my prepping skills into overdrive, which will come in handy if that whole zombie apocalypse happens.
Realistically, each addition into our family causes a ripple effect, something’s gotta give. Each child comes a price tag so to speak, since my first three came as a packaged deal, I really bulked up my muscles fast. It was painful at first, I was sore, so sore. Overnight, I had to saw the cost of this calling, my social calendar, my time and resources, sleeping in and sitting on a couch doing nothing. My life evolved overnight, rapidly changing it was hard. Reality sunk in as I began being locked in my house each evening after 7pm. I had to say no to going out with friends, I learned what tired really was, these days I hardly recognize myself.
After the initial three came in it was really easy to accommodate a fourth, fifth and sixth, I was in my rhythm and adding to it really just made it richer. As a coffee roaster my job was to roast each coffee to the best flavor profile. One of the things about roasting is each roast follows a pattern. As you roast coffee the combination of time and temperature releases certain notes and “flavors” you manage your roast by determining how long to keep in the heat, knowing the heat is what uncovers what you want.
That is how I view this journey, it’s like each kiddo that comes along, knocks loose another flavor. With the first three came lots of change, refining and purging. I was changing rapidly and it was hard and painful at times. The next several kiddos brought waves of patience, compassion and grace, much sweeter.
In the midst of sheer chaos, exhausting days and double grocery carts (one for kids, one for groceries) I am finding such peace. So in this season whatever I am giving up is resulting in a rich and plentiful harvest.