Thursday, June 15, 2017

Teaching them to Fish...

Parenting is such a trial by fire experience. So often I assumed things about being a parent and picked how I was going to handle this and that, only to discover there is not a one size fits all option. Reality strikes and you realize that you actually have no idea what you are doing, the goal becomes survival. You read the books and seek the advice of other parents hoping to make sense of this all. I have discovered the best way to survive the avalanche of conflicting opinions and information is to take a grace filled, don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater approach. There are many good things you will read/hear but it doesn’t all have to stay.

As a parent I am realizing our main job is to equip our children. From day one we teach them how to move, speak and interact with the world around them. Parenting “trauma exposed kids” gives you such a glimpse into how important those early years are and just how much they shape the very foundations of our lives. I have been raising kiddos who have had their brains wired in some faulty ways, coping skills and self worth are at the top of the list of things that need to be rewired.

I have changed so much as a parent, each child’s needs in my home knocks another bit of the “oh, I know attitude out of me.” I have been humbled constantly as a parent, I have been challenged and sometimes they even win. All of that has changed, shaped and challenged me. While I love a good parenting book, I am slowing down and learning that I learn the most about being a parent by watching and listening to my children.

Success as a parent does not come in how well I do anything. Success as a parent is knowing that at the end of the day I have the hard talks, give the advice and challenge the view point. Success is helping my children find their voice and showing them that they have something worth saving and something worth sharing. Success is in answering their questions and hearing their hearts. Success is in showing my children how to be a little more kind to this world.

I have a beautiful range of ages in my home, preteen to infant. Each stage has different needs the needs of my Baby are simple, survival based. The needs of my preteen are much more complex, we spend our evenings talking about where babies come from. Where the middle crew members are asking questions about just how big God is and their favorite color.

I spent the first year of it all, worrying if I was doing it right. Today, I let them tell me how I am doing, I am equipping and teaching them about how to navigate this world. All eyes are on us parents, we get to answer the questions and set the bars, may we set them high. May we always encourage our children to be brave, strong, kind, to all, especially the people they don't act, look or think like. May we raise a generation of humans who love well. I watch and learn from my kiddos, choosing each day to let their story fuel the rest of their lives, knowing that they have a world to change.


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  2. "Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he eats for the rest of his life." But how does one get to that "eating for the rest of his life" point? more info.

  3. i really likes your blog and You have shared the whole concept really well. and Very beautifully soulful read! thanks for sharing.