Thursday, July 13, 2017

Can You Hear Me?

The never ending struggle of parenting for me is listening well without losing my mind. There are times when I need to take a deep breath and check out of the intense noise pollution, *cue scene adorable 7 month old screaming in the car. Other times it is best that I check out momentarily to the continuous noise that consumes my world for the safety of my children protecting them from the volcano inside. As a millennial I am used to the draw of noise and technology, rarely do I sit in silence.

I am in the season of parenting that is consuming me with questions. My days are spent answering questions about how to spell words, my views on social issues and why? A few months ago I posted this post on questions and how I want to view questions differently. 

Little Man has been with us two months and he is blossoming! The most noticeable thing is his speech, he struggles. In the last couple of weeks he has begun speaking as if nothing is holding him back. The back seat is filled with his constant chatter as he points out things. It started with every cop car, then every train, now every stop sign. He declares so proudly that he sees the things outside of the car. Then this week he took it up a notch when he hears something he pulls his ears out and he concentrates on the noise he hears.

I love this innocent act of observing, he is creating neural pathways that are setting the foundations for the rest of his life. Watching him do this is challenging me in how well I am listen. Do I wake up each day listening for the sound of the train whistle? When I hear it’s faint clanking in the distance do I actually take a moment to stop and listen? I have slipped into autopilot mode most days in order to survive.

Autopilot in the car, the kitchen and in routine ensures that things get done. I am wondering what exactly am I missing out on, how many trains have come and gone unnoticed? I catch myself often giving answers to questions without knowing the content. In our home my undivided attention is sought after and fought over, that is the one of the very clear limitations I have found as a single parent to a large family.

A few months ago I started setting a clock for 10 minutes where I would sit in silence, the goal was to quiet my soul. It seems these days my life is noisy and the chatter is non stop, I have discovered in the movement of it all I hardly slow down. I am striving to be intentional with silence. Forcing myself to slow down, for time is short and I want to be present so I don’t miss the trains coming. May my ears be open that I may hear and pause and watch for the train is coming.

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