Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Finding a Place

“My picture day, Mama?” He looks up at me with those blue eyes, deep with hope. He has been waiting not for the day per say, not for the gelled hair, the nice button up or the smile he had been practicing. He has been waiting for the space on the wall, the space where his face is hung, right there among the rest of us. He has been waiting to belong.

Early on in my parenting journey I quickly decided that no matter how long someone is with me that their time with me would be documented. I think part of it is born out of the reality that many of my kiddos including my crew are missing large pieces of their history. My heart is heavy with the reality that there are no baby pictures, pictures of first steps or favorite toys. Missing large portions of their lives, years passed undocumented and unnoticed. In our home we take lots of pictures. Using our spaces to document our moments together as we all grow and change.

His pictures came back and the frame was bought. I hung it up on the wall and he just stared at it with a smile on his face. There he was on the wall in the midst of us all. He had such joy on his face in that moment, he took everyone by the hand and lead them to the wall where his picture hung. He seemed to pause and soak it in, it was as if his little body was letting out a sigh, realizing he finally belonged somewhere.

We do not share the same last name and maybe never will, my deepest desire as a mother is that no matter how short their stay that they all would feel that same way he did the moment I hung up that picture.
We all love to belong don’t we? That is why there are so many clubs, teams and communities out there, we love to be connected and crave a sense of togetherness.

I often look at My Littles and think what that uprooting must have been like for them. They don’t usually fully understand how unsafe or toxic their upbringings are, to them it’s normal and their family. As my sweet Little Guy, processes and continues to settle into our household he will continue to heal as he finds that he belongs. The atmosphere of our home is that one of belonging, come as you are, take a seat and if we have time we will hang your picture on our wall. 

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